friendship | Nourish Yourself

At first blush, in a world with Facebook and Linked In, it may seem to be easier than ever before to connect with people. Yet, I think it’s actually more difficult than ever.

Today when we want to call someone a friend, we need only click a few keys on the keyboard and – voila – friends! What could be easier than that?! Yet, all this clickable friendship has allowed us to hide from both the work and the pleasures of real intimacy, making them seem difficult by comparison. It’s crippled our social capability. Amid our hundreds of online friends, how many real ones do we still have? Isn’t it easier to send an email than to make a phone call? Or easier to call than to show up in person? Do we still have the time for real connection? Can we make the time?

The author Matthew Kelly uses the phrase “carefree timelessness” to describe the truest state of connection. It calls to mind images of being together without watching a clock or having an objective – just being. To experience carefree timelessness, you need to ditch the agenda and just while away some time with someone you love. Kids are great at this – they play. Teenagers hang out. What do we do as adults? We schedule. Or we click away at a keyboard.

The benefits of real connection are powerful but we just can’t fully experience them over the internet. I’m as grateful as anyone for the quick and easy way Facebook has provided to stay up to date on the latest life events and some of the day-to-day minutae of a wide circle of my friends. But those interactions online pale in comparison to even one real conversation.

I was reminded of that this weekend when I had the pleasure of hosting a dear friend and her daughter for dinner and a visit. In ten years I’ve seen her only a handful of times, and this was the first in more than 3 years. What a joy it was to sit with her, to share a meal, to have a real conversation, to get to hug her and her precious little girl. Are we connected on Facebook? You bet. But is it the same? Not a chance.

To live our very best lives, to fulfill our potential, we need these real-life interactions, these connections. They feed our very souls, those long, meandering conversations with a friend, the exuberant playtime with a child, the unhurried meal with a parent, the two-way, agenda-free, honest, give-and-take with a spouse. They reveal our truest selves. And we must know our true selves to live with authenticity.

So, beyond the friend requests that now fill your inbox and mine, our intention must remain the same – to seek out and cherish those real connections within our mostly clickable lives.

Saturday was a landmark day! I went for my first run in 8 months and BOY was it a high! There are only two things that could get me to take that long of a break from running – pregnancy or a serious injury. This time, Baby #3 was the cause of my running hiatus and at 3 weeks postpartum, I was thrilled to feel good enough to officially hit the road again. I’d kept up with the elliptical machine and strength training during my pregnancy, but running was against my doctor’s orders. And running is what I’d been longing to do.

I firmly believe that the key to having regular exercise in your life is to find things that you love to do – activities that draw you to them. If you hate to run, then you are not going to get out there every day and log the miles. You’re going to pull the covers over your head and say “maybe tomorrow.” So while this post is about my love of running, I hope you’ll use it as inspiration to find what YOU love. Maybe it’s tennis, or Jazzercise, or the Wii Fit, or kickboxing, or spinning, or WHATEVER turns you on. I urge you to keep exploring options until you discover something that lights you up. Because when you do, you will never look back. That activity will call your name, drawing you out of bed or out of your office and into the gym or onto the field. And you will willingly, gladly, eagerly respond.

How do I know this? Because I absolutely love to run. Ever since I first discovered the mood-enhancing, endorphin-releasing, calorie-torching power of a long run on a warm sunny day 13 years ago I’ve been hooked. I’ve dabbled in all sorts of distances from the rather long (including several marathons – 26.2 miles each) to the rather short (like Saturday’s run) and everything in between. No matter the distance (okay, maybe except for those last few miles of a full marathon) I love every single second that I’m out there; I think better, feel better, look better and am a better wife-mother-daughter-friend when I am running regularly. It’s not about the distance or the speed for me; it’s really just about being out there! And often, about with whom I’m sharing the road.

Some of my closest friendships have been built on running trails as we’ve logged miles and shared the humdrum fabric of our day-to-day lives. We’ve worked through significant life decisions, comforted one another, and slain demons together during these runs. Laughter, tears, and quiet companionship each have had their place as the seasons have changed and our lives have marched on.

I ran solo on Saturday. I’m not fully back up to speed yet and my running friends would be seriously slowed down if they were to run with me right now. Being out there alone is fun in a different kind of way – I’m focused on the exhilaration of breathing and moving and feeling the wind on my face. It’s pure running. But I’m glad that one day soon, I’ll hear footsteps landing next to mine and there will be new stories to mark the miles.

Photo Credit: The Running Bug

Tag Archives: friendship

Are you connected?

The First Run…