Monthly Archives: August 2010

Living In the Moment

At the beach! (And yes, he’s eating bread…)
Well hello again! I’ve been traveling for most of the last week – 18 hours of total cartime with my husband and our (now) three children (still can’t believe that!). And what an adventure it was.  I have a few thoughts to share about a realization I had during our travels – one that has inspired me to strive to live more “in the moment” and that I hope will inspire you to do the same. Before you tune out (“yeah, yeah, live in the moment, I hear this all the time”) I may not be using that phrase in exactly the way you’re thinking, so read on…

First, a bit of background…
The main reason for this particular trip was to attend a memorial service for my cousin Patrick, who died this year at 42 after enduring a nearly lifelong illness. His mother, Judy, who had been his constant caretaker for his entire life, ensured that the service was a celebration of his life rather than a mourning of his death. The service culminated with the release of 101 baby blue balloons on a breathtakingly sunny hilltop as the song “I’ll Fly Away” by Jars of Clay played into the open air. Standing there holding my infant daughter and looking down upon our 3-year-old and 5-year-old, I cried tears of gratitude for the overwhelming blessings in my life, and tears of compassion for Judy’s loss of her own son. I silently resolved to do a better job of cherishing these days with young children, knowing that as challenging as they may sometimes be, I’ll undoubtedly recall even the most difficult days with fondness as the kids grow up.
After the service, we traveled to northern Ohio where we visited with my husband’s grandmother (and his aunt and cousins) and then spent two days tucked away at a Dirty-Dancing-style family-friendly resort on the shore of Lake Erie. Our 5 year old REALLY wanted to go to the beach this summer and this was our best opportunity – hey – she’s only 5 – a lake beach is still a beach to her! The kids had a blast participating in all of the family activities offered and, yes, they got to play on the beach. Next year maybe they’ll even see an ocean…
As we traveled from destination to destination, and the children napped in their carseats, my husband and I had the rare opportunity for long, uninterrupted conversations. What a pleasure! During one of them, I made the observation that vacations are so different now than they used to be when it was just the two of us. Back then, we had the WHOLE TRIP to ourselves. We could indulge any whim, accommodate any detour, wake, sleep and eat whenever we chose. Now, of course, as any of you with children know, it’s not like that at all! We live by their schedule, indulge their whims, accommodate their moods and needs. And while it’s wonderful in its own way, it seems there should still be a bit of time for us too! And that’s when it struck me that this, too, might actually be a lesson about living in the moment.

See, while we may not have an entire trip to relax and unwind, moments still open up in which to do so. Moments that are just for us…that fit into the spaces in between stretches of being a mom or a dad. 
Moments like these:
  • An uninterrupted conversation while the kids nap in carseats
  • A nonfat decaf Starbucks latte from the lobby coffee bar savored while the kids are in a coloring contest
  • A run on the beach while the family is still asleep 
  • A Fast Company magazine read in the room while the 3 year old naps and the infant nurses and your husband has the 5 year old on the “beach” 
  • A hot shower before dinner with the door locked (and your spouse watching the kids in the next room)   
  • A glass of wine (or dish of ice cream) eaten on the deck off the hotel room when it’s finally quiet
  • A PTI podcast and Diet root beer in the car as you drive while 3 kids AND your wife nap (that one’s for you, honey)

None of these moments may last very long, but they may be even sweeter because of it. Kind of like this phase of life with very young children.


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What are you craving?

In The House at Pooh Corner, A.A. Milne wrote that for Winnie the Pooh, “Although eating honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn’t know what it was called.”

Geneen Roth, author of Women Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything, included this quote in a recent O Magazine email and I was so struck by its simple truth. I’ve certainly experienced that moment of anticipation that trumps the actual tasting, and I’ll bet you have, too, if you really think about it.
We crave all sorts of things, from sweet to salty, cold to hot, creamy to crunchy, yet only rarely does the eventual indulgence live up to our imagined bliss. That’s one reason why its so important to understand the source of our cravings. 

Most of us try to deny our food cravings and so we test our willpower in an effort to avoid caving in to the desire. Sometimes that’s a good approach, but other times it’s actually not! Biologically-driven cravings are often worth listening to; they are one of your body’s ways of telling you what it needs. Psychologically-driven cravings are trickier, and it’s especially important to deconstruct them to determine whether or not to listen to them. Giving in to a psychologically driven food craving almost always results in disappointment as it doesn’t truly address the desire.

In my studies, my work with clients, and my own experience, I’ve observed at least four major sources of cravings; two are biological and two are psychological.

Biological Sources of Cravings

Imbalance
These cravings that are driven by a nutritional imbalance in your body. Your body sends you a signal (in the form of a craving) to tell you how to equalize the imbalance. For example, if your body needs iron, then you may crave beef or if you need potassium, then you may crave a banana. These are the cravings you definitely want to pay attention to, as “giving in” to them will help to restore the balance your body is seeking. You’ll know it was an imbalance driven craving if the food tastes WONDERFUL and you literally feel better after giving in to it.

Habit
These cravings are based on what your body is used to eating. On a cellular level, we really are what we eat! Therefore, we crave more of what we already have in us. Here’s how it works. You may not have eaten Thai food in 6 months, then you have it, and then you want it again 3 days later! That’s a habit based craving. And the more you have one food (peanut butter toast for breakfast, pizza for lunch, dairy, Twizzlers) the more your body will demand it. This can make it hard to change bad habits, but there is hope! The habit principle works just as strongly with healthy foods, so once you have good habits established, those will also be the source of cravings! Heirloom tomatoes, anyone??

Psychological Sources of Cravings

Emotional
These cravings are driven by an unmet emotional need. For example, someone craving intimacy can develop intense cravings for sweet foods – isn’t that fascinating?! When I was first out of college, single, and living in Atlanta, a city where I knew no one, my sweet cravings were at an all time high! For months, I ate my way from one sugary fix to the next, but never connected what was at the source of those cravings. I would have been far better off spending my time making friends than shoveling down Swedish Fish and frozen yogurt, but I hadn’t yet made the connection.  Live and learn!

Nostalgic
Nostalgia-based cravings are rooted deep in our memory. These are the cravings for creamsicles in summer because you always had them at the public pool when you were growing up or for roast chicken and mashed potatoes on a wintry Sunday because that’s what Mom used to make. There’s no biological reason to give in to a nostalgic cravings, and when we do, the food often just doesn’t taste right. That’s because what we’re really craving is the experience that used to surround the food we’re craving, not necessarily the food itself. And sadly, those experiences are awfully hard to recreate.

Cravings are not the enemy and they don’t make you weak; they’re just a normal part of every day life. The key to managing them is to determine what is driving them and then to use that knowledge to make good decisions about when to feed them…and when to exercise your willpower instead to make a healthier choice.

So, what are YOU craving? Can you figure out WHY?
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Picnic Cole Slaw

Are you starting to feel like summer is almost over? Sports practices are gearing up, school supplies are filling the stores, the days are getting shorter, and mornings and evenings are sometimes (blessedly!) a little cooler. It can feel a bit sad to watch summer wind down, but take heart! There is plenty of time left for a few more picnics and barbecues, and they’ll even be a bit more pleasant if the heat index drops a bit!

When you plan your menu, you may instinctively include cole slaw. It makes frequent appearances at barbecues and picnics and can seem like a healthy choice, given that it’s just vegetables in a bowl, right? I mean, it’s practically SALAD! But the truth is that cole slaw can be a nutritional nightmare. Most varieties sold in delis or served in restaurants are laden with full-fat mayonnaise and can really wreak havoc on your daily calorie tally. For example, a small order of cole slaw at Chick-Fil-A has more calories and fat (360 cal/31 g!) than a small order of waffle fries (290 cal/16 g). This is for cabbage and carrots, people!

Now, unless you are REALLY a fan of coleslaw, there is no way that a teensy dish of it is worth that kind of calorie and fat hit. But there is an alternative…making your own version with a delicious, cool, slightly tangy dressing. I like this one, adapted from the Cook This, Not That!: Kitchen Survival Guide
. With my modifications, a serving is less than 100 calories and 5 g of fat! Now that’s more like it, right? Happy picnicking!

Picnic Cole Slaw

serves 6

2 Tbsp. Dijon mustard
2 Tbsp. low fat mayonnaise
2 Tbsp. apple cider vinegar
2 Tbsp. canola oil
1 tsp. kosher salt
1/2 tsp. black pepper
1/2 head green cabbage, “shredded” (sliced very thin)*
1/2 head red cabbage, “shredded” (sliced very thin)*
3 large carrots, julienned
1/3 c. pickled jalapenos
** See note below

Whisk all the wet ingredients plus salt and pepper in a small bowl.

In a large bowl, toss the cabbage, carrots and jalapenos. Add dressing and toss to evenly coat vegetables.

Chill and serve.

*If you’ve never shredded cabbage, here’s a link to a quick tutorial. And if you REALLY want to make this easy, you could even buy a bag of slaw mix!

**If you like your slaw a bit sweeter, you can add a packet of stevia sweetener to the dressing ingredients.

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