Author Archives: Cherylanne Skolnicki

Living the Quiet Life

This is a guest post by Leo Babauta of Zenhabits. I needed this reminder and hope it resonates in a quiet corner of your being, too. Find some stillness today, my friends.

xo – Cherylanne

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When I first started simplifying my life, about 8 years ago, I remember my life being much busier.

I would say yes to everything, and go to lots of social stuff, and drive everywhere doing a crazy amount of things, rushing wherever I went. By crazy I mean it can drive you a bit insane.

These days I know a lot of people who do an amazing amount of socializing online instead of in person — chatting and sending messages and tumbling and posting pictures and status updates. While I understand the need for social connection, I also recognize the addictiveness of it all, to the point where we have no quiet.

Quiet space is incredibly important to me these days. I like my quiet mornings where I can drink a nice tea, meditate, write, as the day grows light and the kids are sleeping. I like quiet on my runs and long walks, so that I can process my ideas, give my thoughts some space, reflect on my life.

The quiet space I allow myself has made possible my writing, but also all the improvements I’ve made to my life: healthier eating, the exercise habit, meditation, decluttering, procrastinating less, etc. Because the quiet space allows me to be more conscious about my actions, and gives me the time to consider whether what I’m doing is how I want to live my life.

And so, while I still socialize, I live a quieter life now. I have my quiet mornings of meditation, tea and writing, but also my nice runs, some time drinking tea or working out with a friend, alone time with my wife, reading with my kids, and some time alone with a good novel.

Is every minute one of quiet? No, the kids make sure I have some noise in my life, and I’m grateful for that, but the quiet is also in how I respond to the noise. A quiet response is one that absorbs the force of noise, with compassion, and doesn’t throw it back with equal force.

Today I wish the quiet life upon you.

Some ideas:

  • Create a little quiet space in the morning.
  • Meditate for 2 minutes a day (to start with). Just sit and put your attention on your breath, returning when your thoughts distract you.
  • When you feel the urge to socialize online, pause. Give yourself a little quiet instead.
  • When you feel the automatic urge to say Yes to an invitation, consider saying No instead, unless it’s something that will truly enrich your life.
  • Don’t take music on a run or walk. Instead, give yourself space with your thoughts.
  • When someone talks to you, instead of jumping in with something about yourself, just listen. Absorb. Reflect their thoughts back to them. Appreciate their beauty.
  • Make time for the people closest to you. One-on-one time is best. Really pay attention to them.
  • Make time for creating, with no distractions.
  • Spend some time decluttering, and creating peaceful space.
  • Create space between your automatic reaction, and your actions (or words). Even one second is enough. In that space, consider whether your reaction is appropriate.
  • Instead of rushing, take a breath, and slow down.
  • Pay attention to sensations of whatever you’re eating, drinking, doing.
  • Have a daily time for reflection.

You don’t have to do all of these, and certainly not all at once. A slow, happy progression is best. In the quiet space that you create, in this world of noise and rushing and distraction, is a new world of reflection, peacefulness, and beauty. It’s a world of your own, and it’s worth living in.

Yogurt Berry Ice Pops

My kids are obsessed with their Zoku popsicle maker. The allure of nearly instant popsicles is like a siren song emanating from our freezer. We are making popsicles ALL-THE-TIME. When we’re talking about 2 oz. of frozen 100% juice and the added bonus of cooking-as-entertainment, I’ll admit that it’s hard (and silly) for me to say no.

But I’m dying for variety. So I found this recipe and thought I’d give it a whirl. It’s a little more effort than just pouring juice into the mold, but totally worth it for an occasional upgrade! And in case you’re wondering, you don’t have to have a Zoku – these work in old school popsicle molds, too! You’re welcome.

 

Yogurt Berry Ice Pops

serves 8

 

Ingredients:

1 lemon

1/2 cup water

1/2 cup sugar

1 1/2 cups plain unsweetened Greek yogurt

2 tablespoons honey

2 cups fresh blackberries (or another berry of your choice)

 

Directions:

1. Rinse, then peel the lemon. (Save the lemon for a different use – we just need the peel.) Combine water and sugar in a small saucepan and stir till it comes to a boil and the sugar dissolves. Add the lemon peel, lower the heat, and simmer for 5 minutes. Cool to room temperature, strain through a fine-mesh sieve, and refrigerate till chilled. (You can do this the night before you want to make them to avoid the chorus of “Is it ready yeeeeeeeet?”)

2. Add the yogurt and honey to the chilled syrup and stir until  combined.

3. Cut blackberries in half and set aside.

4. If using an instant pop maker like a Zoku, gently stir the berries into the  yogurt and freeze according to manufacturer’s instructions.

5. If using conventional molds, put a bit of the yogurt mixture into each of the molds, to a height of about 3/4 inch. Freeze until the mixture begins to set. Add blackberries and remaining yogurt mixture. Snap on the lid and freeze until solid, 3 to 4 hours.

Be a beginner

Being a beginner is humbling. It’s uncomfortable. Awkward. Humiliating even. Especially when my beginner-ness is being flaunted in public. I avoid it like the plague. Always have.

Listen, there are plenty of things I’m not good at, but they are generally things I can just avoid. For example, I’m not good at drawing, singing, or hair braiding. I’m terrible at volleyball, softball, basketball (okay, let’s just say anything that ends with the word “ball”). I cannot find my way out of my neighborhood without a GPS and I absolutely cannot work the remote controls in our house. You get the idea.

I’m much more comfortable being capable. I like to do the things I’m good at. Don’t we all?

Sometimes though, my incompetence tiptoes up behind me and taps me on the shoulder. Like today. This morning, I took a yoga class in which I was by far the least capable person in the room. And it was torture.

My body fought with itself as I struggled to balance, or to find a pose at all, much less the strength to hold it. The fighting wasn’t helping. And yes, I know. You’re not supposed to fight with or judge yourself in yoga – it’s supposed to be “your practice”. Well, my self was not having it today. My weakness was showing with every vinyasa and I was not happy about it.

And then as I fell out of crow pose for about the 10th time in a row, the first flash of insight came.

crow pose

I’m not actually supposed to be good at this. I’m a beginner. Sigh.

I don’t want to be a beginner. I want the Disney FASTPASS to competence…to excellence even. I want to be able to move like my teacher today who basically floats through the air. It’s breathtaking. I want that.

Being competent is easy. There’s no need for vulnerability, or practice, or effort. You just sail along – easy, breezy, beautiful.

But as I was standing there yearning for competence, I had my second flash of insight.

I thought about my kids climbing a rock wall on vacation last week. My 8-year-old was determined to reach the top, ambitiously beginning her ascent, reveling in her early steps, tearfully frustrated when she was thwarted by a slippery rock, panicked as she descended against her will, tangled up in the conflict between her desire and her skill.

In contrast, my 3-year-old was unabashedly gleeful. She was enthralled with the harness, delighted by the view, posing for pictures, joyful each time her hand or foot reached a rock. When she lost her footing and descended,  she cheerfully began to climb again to see if she could get higher the next time.

(My 5-year-old fell somewhere in between, more ambitious than my youngest, less frustrated than my oldest.)

Little children get it. They have to. They’re beginners at everything. They are learning to walk, to talk, to write, to spell, to add, to read, to reason. They are learning to button buttons and zip zippers, to find matching outfits and to keep rooms clean. They are learning to ride bikes and to climb trees and to turn cartwheels. Beginners. All the time. Every time they master one thing we introduce them to another hurdle. And they willingly accept these challenges because they know something we’ve forgotten.

Rock wall brooke

Being a beginner is humbling. It’s uncomfortable. Awkward.

But it’s also exhilarating. It’s valiant. It’s even fun.

Every fragile success is a cause for celebration…and there are many of them, stacked on top of one another like successful steps up a rock wall. Being a beginner makes us feel alive.

I kept holding the image of my children on that rock wall as I moved through the poses, sometimes succeeding and sometimes not, but with an updated view of practice as play. That simple shift transformed my experience. I needed to remember what I’d forgotten.

Whether it’s a yoga class or a 5K, a guitar lesson or an art class, will you let yourself be a beginner again? Be valiant. Be brave. Trade in your comfort for exhilaration. Let yourself play.