Author Archives: Cherylanne Skolnicki

Grace and Humility

I took a great yoga class night that got me thinking about the mind-body connection in a whole new way. The instructor (Heidi for those of you keeping track) kept asking us:

“What would it look like in your body if you fully opened yourself to grace and humility?”

That’s a pretty good question when you’re twisted into a pretzel and trying to keep your balance! But when I let my BODY answer it instead of my mind, I found the pose went a little farther, the stretch was a little deeper, the exhilaration was even greater.

Being open to grace makes me roll my shoulders back, makes me lift my face skyward, makes me breathe more fully. It is an expression of confidence –  that I’ll be taken care of, that everything I need is already there or will be provided. Being open to grace says “Here I am” and “I can do this” and “Bring it on.”

Conversely, being open to humility gets my ego out of the way; it makes me bow more deeply, makes me curl into myself, allows me to surrender. It’s an expression of gratitude – a reminder that I didn’t really earn any of the blessings I have – that each and every good thing – my health, my family, my career, even my productive morning or shiny new belonging – are gifts bestowed upon me that could just have easily gone to someone else. Being open to humility whispers “thank you” and  “i am grateful” and “i am blessed, blessed, so very very blessed.”

Holding those two thoughts in my head simultaneously, let alone getting my BODY to express BOTH of them is daunting! How do you express both seemingly contradictory ideas at the same time?

I think the answer lies in this amazing quote by Glennon Melton of Momastery. (If you’d like to read her whole post, it’s here.)

“Be confident because you are  a child of God. Be humble because everyone else is, too.”

Brilliant, right? I love the idea of having both confidence that grace will be extended to me and humility because that doesn’t make me more special than anyone else. If I had to express both of those things simultaneously in my body I would be balanced. I’d be firmly grounded yet uplifted. When a yoga instructor says “Ground down, reach out” this is what I imagine she means. Grounded in humility, uplifted by grace. And believe it or not, it’s one of the most natural and effortless yoga poses to hold. Imagine that.

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Cornmeal Crusted Fish Sandwich with Creamy Coleslaw

This one’s for my husband! With Fathers Day upon us, I thought we’d whip up one of his childhood favorites with a healthy twist. It’s always disappointing when you learn that something you adored as a child doesn’t necessarily love you back, so when you can reinvent it and keep enjoying it, it’s a rush!

This “unfried” fish sandwich is topped with a spicy “creamy” coleslaw yet this recipe won’t leave Dad in a food coma afterwards! The fish fillets are lightly pan fried and then finished in the oven so you can even serve a crowd without fanfare. The slaw is made with light mayonnaise which cuts a lot of fat and calories.

Serve this with a summer fruit salad and and ice cold beer. It’s Father’s Day after all.

 

Cornmeal Crusted Fish Sandwich with Creamy Coleslaw

 

serves 4

 

Ingredients:

3 tablespoons light mayonnaise (Hellman’s really is the best)

4 teaspoons fresh lime juice

pinch cayenne pepper

2 cups shredded cabbage

4 – 6 oz. halibut (or other firm white fish) fillets

1/2 cup cornmeal

2 large egg whites

1 teaspoon paprika

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 tablespoons olive oil

4 whole grain sandwich rolls

 

Directions:

1. Whisk together mayonnaise, lime juice and cayenne. Place cabbage in a bowl. Pour mayonnaise mixture over and mix well. Set aside.

2. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Line a rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper.

3. Rinse fish fillets and pat to dry. (If it is more than 3/4-inch thick, carefully slice in half to create to thinner pieces.)

4. In a small bowl whisk egg whites plus 1 teaspoon of water until foamy . Place cornmeal, paprika, and salt in a small baking dish or shallow bowl and mix well. Dredge the fish in the egg whites. Next place in the cornmeal mixture, gently press into cornmeal on both sides.

5. Heat oil in a large non-stick skillet over medium-high heat. Add the coated fish fillets and cook until just browned, about 2 minutes per side.

6. Transfer to prepared baking sheet and bake about 8 minutes, or until fish is opaque throughout. Serve on rolls topped with coleslaw.

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Alarming statistics

In her exceptional book,  I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t), Brene Brown, Ph.D. shares some alarming statistics. As she explores the role of social-community expectations of appearance on women today, she lays out these facts like a string of firecrackers ready to explode…

  • Approximately seven million girls and women suffer from an eating disorder.
  • Up to nineteen percent of college-aged women are bulimic.
  • Eating disorders are the third most common chronic illness among females.
  • The latest surveys show very young girls are going on diets because they think they are fat and unattractive. In one American survey, 80% of ten-year-old girls had already dieted at least once.
  • A research survey found that the single largest group of high school students considering or attempting suicide are girls who feel they are overweight.
  • Among women over eighteen looking at themselves in the mirror, research indicates that at least 80% are unhappy with what they see. Many will not even be seeing an accurate reflection; up to 80% of women overestimate their size. Increasing numbers of women with no weight problems or clinical psychological disorders look at themselves in the mirror and see ugliness and fat.
  • Since 1997 there has been a 465% increase in the total number of cosmetic procedures. Women had 10.7 million procedures, 90% of the total. The top 5 were: liposuction, breast augmentation, eyelid surgery, tummy tuck, and facelift. Americans spent just under $12.5 BILLION on cosmetic procedures in 2004.

Wow.

Take  a minute to soak all of that in. Go back and read those facts again, because they are FACTS, not propaganda, not distorted truths. The FACTS say that AT LEAST 80% OF US are unhappy with how we look when we look in the mirror. It starts young, with our 10-year-olds already on diets, and it spirals out of control quickly with our college students prone to anorexia and bulimia. It continues for too long with young adults, mothers and grandmothers still experiencing the effects of body hatred, disordered eating, and relentless self-criticism.

Chances are, you haven’t been spared from these issues. Statistically speaking, you are likely to recognize yourself in one or more of the alarming facts highlighted above. I certainly do.

I’m angry about the years I’ve wasted and watched others waste diverting energy from truly important contributions we could be making to focus instead on the size of our thighs or the roundness of our bellies. I’m tired of every magazine headline on the news stand promising the secret to thinner thighs or a flatter belly or a tighter rear end. I’m frustrated by the ads flooding the internet for diet pills and miracle cleanses and gimmicky exercise equipment. I KNOW we’re smarter than all of this, but I also know that we’re incredibly tempted by it in our desperation to “fix” ourselves once and for all.

I’d like to write more about this over the upcoming weeks and months….we need to break this cycle of madness that is driving our children into this dark hole right with us, and I’ll need your help. But for today, can you do just one thing? Can you listen for that voice of self-criticism that tells you that you’re not enough…and when she speaks, politely ask her to shut up? We have important things to do, and she’s in our way.

 

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