Category Archives: Lifestyle

Whose goal is it, anyway?

This weekend as I was clearing out a drawer, I unearthed a treasure. It was a handwritten list of my life’s goals, circa 1998. When I found it, I stopped what I was doing, sat down in the middle of the room, and took a look at what I’d written. Reading the list took me on  a trip down memory lane. Both the things I’d chosen to put on this list and those I’d been afraid to put on said a lot about me at that time in my life. I’d tracked my progress with checkmarks and dates off and on over the years, but I’d lost track of this particular piece of paper for a while. That’s not to say I’d stopped pursuing the goals. In fact, I’d achieved quite a number of them since the last updating, and found myself reaching for a pencil to add a few checkmarks and dates to the page. In other instances, I wondered aloud what I’d been thinking when I’d set that ridiculous objective, and began instinctively editing the list.

In full disclosure, I’m a serial goal-setter with  handwritten and computerized lists, short-term and long-term lists, lists categorized by aspects of my life. I keep them current, adjusting them as circumstances change, or as I change. But this list, having been lost, provided a clear snapshot of a particular point in time. To  reflect the goals I hold foremost in mind today, it would need to be dusted off, edited, shaped. In fact, it’s that pruning process that I believe is central to good goal setting.

Goals are powerful tools to direct our behavior, so before we put our heart and soul into achieving them, it’s important that we ensure the goals are our OWN. That may seem obvious, but sometimes goals creep in that aren’t ours at all. There are those our parents set for us years ago, or that an ex-boyfriend casually suggested, or that our spouse thinks we should pursue. Over time, we adopt these goals which have been thrust upon us (perhaps even gently bestowed upon us) as our own and we fervently chase them. And chase them. And chase them.

It’s especially hard to achieve a goal that is not your own. The pursuit lacks passion and vigor. Your heart isn’t in it. But a goal you set for yourself? One that lines up with your interests, your beliefs, your dreams? Give you one of those and I’ll bet you’re practically unstoppable.

So, the question is, are you setting and pursuing goals? And if so, are you achieving them?

If not, it may be time to ask yourself, whose goals are they anyway? If you find that a goal you are chasing is not your own, simply get out your pencil and do a little editing. Revise it, tweak it, overhaul it completely if you must. But make sure the final version is your own. When you own the goal, you’ll own the result, and nothing will be able to stop you. Not even if the list itself is hidden away in a desk drawer for years at a time. The goal will live in YOU.

Create Time to Change Your Life

With permission, I am reposting this blogpost written by Leo Babauta of the ZenHabits blog. It’s excellent advice, in his own style and own words, and requires no embellishment from me. Read on.

Create Time to Change Your Life

Post written by Leo Babauta of ZenHabits blog
When I decided to change my life a little over 5 years ago, I had a very common problem: I didn’t have the time.
I wanted to exercise and find time for my family and eat healthier (instead of the fast-food junk I’d been eating) and read more and write and be more productive and increase my income.
Unfortunately there are only 24 hours in a day, and we sleep for about 8 of them. Subtract the hours we spend eating (3), showering and dressing and fixing up (1), cleaning and running errands (1), driving (2), working (8) … and you’re left with an hour or two at most. Often less.
Eventually I figured out how to do all the things I wanted to do. I’ve achieved all of that and more, and in fact I have more leisure time now than ever. But first I had to figure out the fundamental problem: how could I find the time to change my life?
I know many of you face the same problem — you’ve told me as much. So I thought I’d share some of what I did in the beginning, in hopes that it’ll help.
The First Step
You must make a commitment. You have to decide that you really want to make a change, and that it’s more important than almost anything else.
For me, only my family was more important — and in fact I was making these change for my family as well as for myself. So these changes I was making were really my top priority in life.
It has to be that urgent for you. Think of this not as “improving your life” but saving it. The changes I made saved my life — I am so much healthier, my marriage is better, my relationships with my kids have improved, I am happier rather than depressed. If you don’t feel you’re saving your life then you won’t make the tough changes needed.
Next Steps
Once I made the mental commitment, I took small steps to give myself a little wiggle room to breathe and move:


  • Cut out TV. I watched less TV than ever before (eventually I watched none, though now I watch a few shows a week over the Internet). For many people this one change will free up a couple hours or more.
  • Read less junk. I used to read a lot of things on the Internet that were just entertainment. Same with magazines. I cut that stuff out early so I could focus on what was more important.
  • Go out less. I used to go to a lot of movies and to dinner and drinking. I cut that out (mostly) for awhile, to make time.
  • Wake earlier. Not everyone is going to do this but it was a good step for me. I found that I had more time exercising and working in the morning before anyone woke up — the world was quiet and at peace and without interruptions. (Read more.)
In general, find the things that eat up your time that are less important than the changes you want to make. That’s almost everything except the things you need to live — work and eating and stuff like that. Cut back on them where you can.
Simplify Commitments


I had a lot of commitments in my life — I coached soccer, was on the PTA board, served on a lot of committees at work, had social commitments as well, worked on a number of projects.
Slowly I cut them out. They seemed important but in truth none of them were as important as the life I wanted to create, the changes I wanted to make. Lots of things are important — but which are the absolute most important? Make a decision.
If you are having trouble making a decision, try an experiment. Cut out a commitment just for a little while. See whether you suffer from cutting it out, or whether you like the extra time.
If you’re worried about offending people, don’t. Send an email or make a phone call and explain that you’d love to keep doing the commitment but you just don’t have the time and don’t want to half-ass it. The person might try to talk you into staying but be firm — respect yourself and your time and the changes you’re trying to make.
Here’s a secret: the people and organizations you’ve been helping or working with will live. They will go on doing what they were doing without you, and (omg!) they will survive without you. Your departure will not cause the world to collapse. Let go of the guilt.


Streamline your life
Eventually I made many other changes, including:
  • Making bills and savings and debt payments automatic. I set everything up online so that I wouldn’t have to run errands or spend time making payments. This put my debt reduction on automatic, and I got out of debt. (Read more.)
  • Streamlining errands. I tried to cut as many errands out of my life as possible. Often that meant changing my life in some way but I adjusted and things became simpler. I cleaned as I went so I didn’t have a lot of cleaning to do on weekends. I did the few errands I had all at once to save running around.
  • Work less. I would set limits to how much I could work, forcing myself to pick the important tasks and to get those tasks done on time. I learned which tasks needed to be done and which could be dropped. I became much more effective and worked less.
  • Say no. When people asked me to do stuff that was important to them but not to me, I learned to politely decline. Instead I focused on what was important to me.
Slowly I learned to simplify. I simplified my daily routines, my work, my social life, my possessions, my chores, my wardrobe. It took time but it has been more than worth the effort: life is so much better now that I’ve created the time to do what I want to do.

Restart Your Resolutions

Can you believe it’s almost March?! For Pete’s sake! I  know many of you made New Year’s Resolutions on January 1st – how are they going? It’s not uncommon to lose steam as life often gets in the way of our very best intentions.

In fact, I had the opportunity to speak with Amanda Greene, a reporter for Woman’s Day, this week about this very topic. Her article, “Eight Ways to Recommit to Your Health Resolutions” is included here if you need some inspiration to get yourself back on track! Amanda and I chatted about how Nourish helps clients make and stick with resolutions, and we talked about ideas for recommitting to those resolutions if your resolve begins to falter.

So, if your resolutions have fallen by the wayside, instead of beating yourself up, try to determine what caused you to get off track, and then simply recommit. 2011 will be here all year.

Here’s a link to the full article on the Woman’s Day website.  And here’s the article text, because Amanda is a far better writer than I…

8 Ways to Recommit to Your Health Resolutions

Find out how to get back into your wellness routine—and stick with it

By Amanda Greene Posted February 23, 2011 from WomansDay.com

You’ve probably heard of “January joiners”—those eager gym-goers who sign up to get in shape at the beginning of the year, only to fall off the wagon by February. There’s a reason it’s such a common phenomenon: Sticking to health resolutions is difficult, especially when your ambitions are too high or not measurable. So we spoke to the experts to find out about common goal-setting mistakes and how to recommit to more obtainable aims. Read on to learn eight ways to revisit your wellness resolutions––and make them stick this time around.

1. Shrink your goals.

One of the most common reasons people fail at keeping their resolutions is because they bite off more than they can chew. “I find that my clients make New Year’s resolutions that aren’t really realistic,” says Cristina Rivera, RD, president of Nutrition in Motion, PC. “They’re great for about a week, but people can’t keep them up forever.” For example, one of her clients made a goal to give up soda, her favorite beverage. She went cold turkey and lasted about two weeks, then caved when the cravings hit. Rivera coached her to minimize her portions—a mini-can of Diet Coke, not a Big Gulp––instead of cutting out the drink entirely. 

2. Make your resolutions concrete.

Not only will setting a goal that’s too big derail you, so will making a resolution that’s too vague. “Saying ‘I will eat more healthfully’ isn’t a concrete goal,” says Junelle Lupiani, RD, nutritionist at Miraval, a wellness spa outside Tucson, Arizona. “Instead, say something like, ‘I will replace my afternoon coffee and cookie snack with a piece of fruit, some nuts and green tea.’ Being sure that your resolutions are measurable can help you assess on a daily basis if you’re on track or not.” Other specific—and doable––health promises that Lupiani recommends are vowing to eat a large salad every day or committing to starting each day with a whole grain and some fresh fruit. 

3. Don’t wait to get motivated.

Many people assume they can’t tackle their goals without motivation. So they wait and wait for that push to get them to the gym, but it never comes. “We have the belief that motivation has to come before action—’I felt motivated so I went,'” says Simon Rego, PsyD, director of Psychology Training at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City, “when in fact motivation often follows action.” Take the gym, for example. Most people can attest to feeling extremely motivated after a sweaty workout, instead of before. To get yourself to exercise, Dr. Rego recommends giving yourself permission to leave the gym after five minutes if you want. Chances are, once you get moving on the treadmill, your motivation will have kicked in and you won’t want to stop. 

4. Get some sleep!

That’s right—the experts actually recommend hitting the hay in order to accomplish your goals. Why? Because a good night’s sleep can help you achieve virtually any goal on your New Year’s resolution list, says Pete Bils, vice president of Sleep Innovation and Clinical Research for Select Comfort. “Losing weight, exercising or learning a new skill are not human instincts; we have to work at them. You could call a sleepy brain a lazy brain—the human ability of resolve or willpower has been proven to be diminished without adequate sleep,” he says. But it’s not just about willpower; the amount of sleep you get affects bodily functions, too. As Bils explains, without enough sleep, ghrelin (the hormone responsible for regulating appetite) is elevated, while leptin (the hormone connected with satiety) is diminished. So, even if you consume enough calories, when you haven’t gotten enough zzz’s, your body will still send signals that it’s hungry, which will likely lead you to overeat.

5. Set yourself up for success.

Sure, it’s easy enough to resolve to eat more healthfully, but if you don’t implement the necessary lifestyle changes you won’t be able to succeed. “If you’re going to have oatmeal for breakfast instead of your usual doughnut, you have to give yourself five extra minutes to boil those oats on the stovetop each morning, plus more time to eat at home since it’s not a portable food,” says Cherylanne Skolnicki, wellness coach and owner of Nourish wellness consultants. “Resolutions are really about finding out how you’re going to integrate new behaviors into your life.” So don’t join a gym that you have to drive out of your way to get to—choose one that’s on your route to and from the office. Or if you’re trying to drink more water, invest in a reusable bottle so that you always have it on hand. 

6. Be patient.

“When you’re integrating a new exercise routine, your fitness levels will always change more quickly than your body composition. Fixate on how you feel and how you perform before you freak out about your weight and waistline,” says Andrew Wolf, exercise physiologist at Miraval. As Rivera notes, healthy weight loss is only between one and two pounds per week, so give yourself reasonable time to make progress instead of giving up. Finally, Wolf advises implementing ways to monitor your progress that don’t involve a scale or your skinny jeans. Keep track of how many crunches you can do or measure your heart rate while you’re on the elliptical machine to prove to yourself that you’re getting stronger and more fit.

7. Think outside the box.

Don’t throw in the towel on getting in shape just because you hate the gym. Losing weight doesn’t mean you have to join a fitness club. There are plenty of ways to exercise outdoors—find a hiking trail or take your bike out for a ride, for example. Rivera is a fan of alternative forms of exercise, like Zumba classes. “If you have an active job, wear a pedometer and see how many steps per day you can log; if you hit 10,000 steps in a day, that’s like walking four miles,” she says. “Knowing how much you’re walking could motivate you to push yourself even harder the next day.”

8. Find a buddy.

The easiest way to make yourself accountable? Enlist a friend to help keep you on track with your goals. “I’d rather see you walk every day with a partner than run every six days by yourself,” says Skolnicki. “If you can, find someone to meet you, whether it’s at the gym or outside your front door. People’s success rates go up dramatically [with a workout buddy].” Plus, she adds, working out in tandem is a great way for busy women to multitask: Not only will you get in a sweat session, but you’ll also have the time to catch up with a friend.